I don’t feel like it

I almost never feel like doing something to change my mood for the better.

People resist change in many big ways, but I think we also resist change in even the smallest ways.

When you are in a good mood you don’t feel like changing it, but that makes sense, because why would you want to feel worse?

If we are in a bad mood, we don’t feel like taking the actions that will change it.

One would think that if we were feeling bad we would want to do whatever we could to change that.

But the behavior required to change is not a natural product of the feeling-gravity we are currently experiencing. The natural behavioral product of negative feelings are behaviors that perpetuate the current state of negativity.

Every action we take will tend to trap us within its gravity and the feeling effects associated with it.

One decision during the day – or the night before – can lead us to a negative state.

If we start our day scrolling or watching a show, what kind of behaviors is that likely to lead to? More relaxing, more lounging, more scrolling. It’s less likely to lead to movement, exercising, or work.

One action is not guaranteed to stunt future actions, but my question is what type of action is it more likely to lead to? More of the same.

If we eat food that slows us down, what is that more likely to lead to? Eating more of the same – keeping us feeling slow and lethargic.

I went through a time where I thought this kind of information was stupid. Banal. Basic. I wanted real knowledge, actionable advice. Real technical information. I wanted the hard skills. I guess this is more like a soft skill, or soft knowledge. But it’s the foundation for everything. Because what is life other than a bunch of days strung together. What is a day other than a bunch of individual decisions and actions strung together.

What is the realization of a goal other than positive choices (those in alignment with achieving the goal) added up over minutes, hours, weeks, years?

Of course there is a lot of nuance to all of this. We can break free from the gravity at any point during the day – but the point is it will be less likely. It will be harder to break free from the weight of the current state and into the momentum or gravity of a better one, if we make decisions that drag us down and take us off course.


A big part of me doesn’t really “want” to do the things I do. But another part of me realizes that I actually feel better after I do. That’s the paradox.



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