One of the hard parts of my entrepreneurial journey was having to be the supporting role in my wife’s business. I wanted to be the main character – the Michael Jordan – but sometimes it may actually be more beneficial for you to be the Scottie Pippen.
Of course in team sports, which business is, the star doesn’t really (usually) exist – without the supporting strengths of the other team members it’s almost impossible to win at a high level.
I feel conflicted even mentioning this because it may come across strange – but it’s true, so whatever.
There was a point in 2022 when I was still working my corporate job and I wanted to get out. I never wanted to be there in the first place, but I had child support and bills to pay, so I needed the income.
Knowing that I didn’t want to work for someone else, that I wanted to be my own boss again; I realized that working with my wife to build her business was the best current opportunity to make that happen.
asked myself how I could best provide value to the business and grow it to the point where i could join her full time.
One of the main answers was: we will grow faster if she can work more. If she could spend more time selling and delivering services to clients the business would grow.
I deduced that that meant I should take care of the kids as much as I could. She was still more than plenty involved of course, but I basically had to start viewing her priorities as more important than my own. I would have to get my own work done early in the morning, late at night, or just fit it in where I could – otherwise I would be handling the kids as much as I possible.
Of course I love my kids more than anything, however I am the type of person that feels like I need to work to feel productive – and ultimately to feel good.
This was a sacrifice. There was a kind of despair I sometimes felt in having to play this role. I wanted to be building too, I wanted to be working – and it was painful to be on the sidelines waiting. It was challenging to put myself second. I wasn’t fully a stay-at-home parent but I could imagine this being similar to how many them feel.
However, I knew why I was doing it. I knew that was the most value I could add (or at least what I could perceive) at that time. Empowering her was more valuable than me learning sales from scratch while she sat on the sidelines. I had to put my ego aside.
This effect also carried over into weekends and non-work hours. I wanted to make sure we did the kinds of things that would get her recharged and stay energized to keep working on the business. This meant that I would prioritize the kinds of things she would like to do. I love her and like to spend time with her so this isn’t a complete sacrifice in that sense, but it is still a sacrifice to constantly be putting someone else first. I also had to support her in the kind of things she wanted to spend money on. I realized that I couldn’t consistently say “no, we’re not going to buy more clothes, we need to save every penny so I can quit my job and we can grow this business” – that could have led to resentment and that all her work was to serve the purpose of my goals.
There are many sacrifices involved in building a business. They may be different depending on who you are and what your current situation is – but like they say: “figure out the price you have to pay for your goals and then pay the price”.